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Vandræðalegar sögur úr BJJ heiminum

BJJ-Awkward-moment-coach er einn stærsti MMA vefur í heiminum. Á spjallborði vefsins er rætt um hin ýmsu málefni. Í einum spjallþráðanna var rætt um vandræðalegustu reynsluna af æfingu eða keppni í BJJ. Hér eru nokkrar ansi vandræðalegar sögur.




I once poked my big toe on a girls vagina during free training. She had side mount and I was trying to get a butterfly hook in. I could tell by her reaction that the deed was done..

 „I was teaching a beginners class and one of my friends was visiting from California so I had him come help me out. We were working basic guard passes and he was helping a kid who was kinda slow… he‘s a big kid about 6 foot 200lbs, he had on white gi pants and a t-shirt…after about ten minutes of guard passes….I walked over to check on them, the kid had shit himself, he had a huge stinky brown stain on his gi pants. The funniest part is my friend (dumbass) just kept getting in his guard and working the pass. I had to send the kid to change, man we still laugh about this whenever my buddie vists.

This one is easily my most awkward and embarassing moment. At my last tournament, I was wearing Koral fight shorts (Vale-Tudo). During my first match, I had the kid in north-south, and he pushed off on my leg, but got my shorts. My balls came out and touched his face, in front of everyone. I was mortified…..

I had a guy fart in my ear when we were working north south kimuras and he denied it HA!

 Það er aðdáunarvert að sjá blindan mann æfa BJJ en slys gerast…

We had a guy come in who was as blind as a bat. As in he couldn’t see ANYTHING. Well we did this drill as a warm up where you sprawled around in a circle. Well we did that 2x, and the instructor told us to do some shots. I adjusted myself back to the original position, but I guess the blind guy didn’t because he took a shot right into a pillar that he had positioned himself in front of. It was a padded pillar, but he slammed his head right into it. I knew I was going to hell, but I had to force back some serious laughter. We asked him if it was OK and he was embarrassed, but that was kind of awkward for a second there.

 „I was going for a kneebar on a spazzy guy. His only knee bar escape was to put the foot on the butt, and push…but he was in a hurry, so he just jammed his heel at me indiscriminately. He got me once solid in the butthole, and it made me yelp “OW MY BUTTHOLE”, and everyone looked over. It was the worst.

 „Personally my weirdest moment was when some guy was in my guard, half gassed and drooled and it went into my mouth. We both registered what happened and kinda shut it out and pretended it didn‘t…I feel sick thinking about it

Ein stelpa skrifar: „Just about anytime a guy has me in North South I can tell whether or not he’s wearing a cup.

My most awkward moment was letting out the most fowl protein fart ever, after my training partner clinched too hard from double under pass. The funny thing about it was it was silent. It took just a couple of seconds and he instantly let go and walked away with a dissapointed look. It was the first fart I had ever smelled that made me run away from myself, yeah needless to say I won’t be drinking anymore soy protein, fruit and spinach smoothies anymore..

Við endum þetta á myndbandi. Ein vandræðalegasta reynsla sem Ray Elbe hefur lent í náðist á myndbandi. Ray er eigandi Tiger Muay Thai í Tælandi og hefur verið eitthvað slæmur í maganum á keppnisdegi.

Vonum að þið hafið haft gaman af þessu. Hafið þið einhverjar vandræðalegur sögur úr æfingum eða keppni?

Pétur Marinó Jónsson
Pétur Marinó Jónsson
Eigandi og ritstjóri vefsins -Æft bardagaíþróttir í einhver ár (fjólublátt belti í BJJ) -BS í sálfræði -Lýsi UFC á Viaplay


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